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Sunday, July 09, 2006 

Michael Jordan Look-alike Sues for $832 Million

And now, in today's episode of "Only in America," a man's suing Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for a combined $832 million. I almost died when I heard about this ludicrous lawsuit:
“I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me,” said Heckard. Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. He’s suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world.

“Even when I go to the gym I'm being accused of playing ball like him (Jordan), said Heckard."

Dressed in blue Air Jordan tennis shoes, Heckard might seem to be actually trying to look like Jordan but Heckard doesn’t see it that way. "They're very comfortable shoes to play ball in,” said Heckard. “I play a lot of basketball and any other shoes I try to play in tend to hurt the bottom of my feet."

This potato head just needs to concede the fact that he's secretly obsessed with Jordan. I hope Michael Jordan countersues him for defamation and for looking like him as well.

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