Today, I seriously considered terminating my 2-year old relationship with a very close friend. Well, it all started with a trip to the mail. As usual, I inserted my mailbox key while boiling with anticipation. I knew that it could be anything in that 12 inch long aptly dark box; bills, another credit card offer, Playboy discounts, free 'trial' issues of Blender, missing persons' ads, or even bank overdraft notifications,...There's only one way to find out.
As I stared into my box to feed my suspense two black faces peered right back at me with hatred in their eyes, one of them in an orange suit. I extended my right hand towards them and pulled out one of my biggest disappointments of 05:50 Cent/Tony Yayo May issue of Rap's last hope of 'real' journalism, XXL. Harris Publication's sublime proclamation of 50 as God insults my intelligence more than that new Paris Hilton burger commercial. Speaking of which, I'm glad they finally realized that Paris needs the generosity of a burger company to conquer her eating disorder. I digress.
Recall the entry where I stated that "the art of reporting should always be upheld with impersonal perspectives"? Well, history has repeated itself again. I won't even glorify Harris Publication by placing a pic from their latest XXL issue on this blog. Sorry, I take that back. Fast forward to every man's fave column Eye Candy and you find photos of the newest but not-so-intelligent female in rap videos Buffie(y).
Not even those bootylicious pics can help redeem XXL's integrity which Yellow Nigga had driven to the ground a year ago when he began the iconization process of less-than-average rap artist 50 Cent.Maybe I should be more like my boy Verz and ban all magazines (except Scratch) from my house.